Have I done anything worth remembering?

Legacy. I struggle with legacy. How do I want to be remembered? How will I be remembered? Have I done anything worth remembering? Such questions are hard for me to think about because facing my own mortality is difficult. I worry that my struggle has already limited me, that it’s already too late to be someone worth remembering.

But, I’m grateful for the opportunity to try; for the opportunity to love, to learn, to hope. I think it’s hope, the ability to have hope even in the face of terrible odds that is most important to me. The hope to be better, to love harder, to love longer, that’s at the core of the me I want people to remember.

I’m not perfect. I know this, even if I struggle to admit it out loud, and I’m starting to finally understand that I’m the only one who expects me to be perfect. It’s those expectations, my expectations, that are holding me back. I’ll be honest, it’s taken me a very long time to come to this breakthrough, probably longer than most, and I know there’s still a lot of work to be done. Unlearning the false pretenses of perfection, learning how to fail and laugh it off, those are things that will take work and patience and time. I may never get it 100% right, but I hope the struggle and the work will make me someone worth remembering.